The FunFest Retreat
Videos from the Nonviolent Communication Santa Cruz, Funfest Retreat held on June 20-25th, 2010.

• Exploring Empathy Workshop - NVC Santa Cruz

• Interviews

  • Jean Morrison on Empathy - Stories and Insights

  • Bob on His First Experiences with Empathy & The Power of Empathy

  • Ted Hill on Saving Money with Empathy

Exploring Empathy Workshop - NVC Santa Cruz
A workshop on exploring attendees experience of empathy.

Exploring Empathy at the NVC Santa Cruz FunFest from Edwin Rutsch on Vimeo.

      Outline

• Select a card that speaks to you about empathy

• Christine

  • the womb

  • mothers love for child

  • coming back to our center our who

  • empathy is love

• Janine

  • the womb

  • yummyness

  • needs met

• Guy

  • gentleness and being with oneself is part of empathy

  • capacity for empathy for others depends on empathy/compassion for yourself

• Bob

  • a wave and in the fetal position

  • the power of empathy

  • so incredible for me

  • deeply moved

• Jean

  • 2 cards

  • mother earth - warm ground

  • light coming down

  • feeling of self empathy - open to feeling held

  • divine energy

  • connecting with all the needs

  • giving empathy - this other being

  • bringing their empathy to me

• Kristin

  • what's being born in you

  • fertile eggs in there - gives them support

  • with empathy they get to grow and be known to me

  • gives me a sense of clarity and empowerment

  • being buoyed by the water

  • being with the beauty of the need

  • being in the river of life

• Bar

  • presence in a way I can experience I'm not alone

  • can put aside a lot of what was me

  • coming thought them and thought me

  • I can receive without getting in the way of the reception

  • not having ideas, thoughts, conclusions

  • receive it, hold it, reflect it

  • when that happens it is hard to describe, but it feels good.

• Guy

  • second card

  • in presence - an opening, release of tension,

  • makes room for life energy to come in

  • give

• Christine

  • source - reconnection to our source

• Jean

  • silent empathy

• Bar

  • Wings of  Desire movie

  • give pure empathy

  • the angels are just there

•  

  • silent empathy

  • allow someone to take their own journey

  • the restraint to trust that is not easy

  • connected at an energetic level

  • I was engaged

  • there was safety for her

• Jean

  • there were times when I got that silent empathy

  • in NVC we learn empathy is the words

  • that's just the skill set to the heart being open

  • some pain

  • I got her empathy

• Bar

  • put myself in the intention of empathy

  • creates an empathy beacon

  • people walking by can pick it up

  • they smile

• Bob

  • what I like about empathy

  • someone to see things through my eyes

  • it's so comforting, reassuring, I don't feel so alone

  • feels safe, will not be judged

  • they're seeing from my perspective

• Kristin

  • there's no rush because there's no place to get to

  • this is what it is

  • something about giving empathy - trust

  • presence - stress is gone

  • state of profound gratitude and wonder

• Jean

  • empathy doesn't have to take a certain amount of time

  • not the time but quality

  • no rule it has to be long

• Bar

  • the energy of empathy is there all the time

  • it's uncovering it

  • removing the pieces that aren't real

• Christine

  • I wonder if we're not all just looking for empathy

  • prison story and cutting the cats whiskers

  • whiskers and feeling

  • wanting the cat to empathize with her

• Bar

  • perhaps like people commenting crime - looking for empathy

• Jean

  • empathy guessing

• Ted

  • what's under empathy

  • compassion

  • wanting the best for them

• Christine

  • I trust you can figure this out

  • that you are already whole

  • I'm not trying to fix you

• Ted

  • hear it yourself

  • slow down

• Kristen

  • empathy when present let you come out of confusion, worry

  • the door can swing open

  • life energy

• Christine

  • when I'm in pain - that's all there is

  • empathy opens world

  • blinders open

• Kristen

  • was moved by what Dominic had said

  • empathy doesn't get you just temporary relief

  • it's the transformational shift

  • it allow you to get and understand the story

  • empathy that changes

  • you become open to not running that suffering

  • the barriers to action are removed.

• Jean

  • the origin of the word

  • German - Einfühlen

  • anyone want some empathy

• Bar - getting empathy from the group

  • alive?

  • freedom?

  • celebration? - dance of acceptance

  • trust?

  • when triggered hard to get to empathy

  • empathy on demand

  • layers that get in the way?

  • openhearted?

  • I'm at this phase of empathy

  • breath seems to be a big part of presence

• Ted

  • media wants to convince us

  • convincing vr. empathy

  • gratitude part of empathy

  • believe there's something missing?

  • all this stuff

  • empathy says there's nothing missing and nothing wrong?

• Christine

  • Empathy gas stations

• Bob - personal talk about empathy

  • power of empathy speaks to you

  • someone coming to me - seeing through my eyes

  • empathy groups - people guess where I am

  • taking the journey with me

  • helping find me

  • so powerful and encouraging

  • The first time it happened?

    • a previous workshop

    • someone gave me empathy

    • it was almost painful

    • I felt safe

  • I wouldn't be judge?

    •  was lacking in my life

    • grew up with lack of it

  • What happed?

    • examples of what is not empathy

      • was easy - I had learned it

      • that's the sad thing

    • had learned not having empathy growing up and in society

      • empathy blockers

        • asking question

        • telling your own story

  • A metaphor of empathy?

    • a hand around my shoulder - listening with love

• Kristen - Wrap-up of session

• Kristen - singing a song of listening

Jean Morrison on Empathy
NVC Santa Cruz Trainer
 

Jean Morrison on Empathy from Edwin Rutsch on Vimeo.

       Outline

• Story of Empathy

  • first grade teach

  • was first really living examples that touched me

  • honor an amazing teach - Misses Wright

  • Kids were giggling about boy with runny noise

  • had a cold and drip of snot dropping

  • caught between compassion and the hilarity of it

  • not knowing what to do

  • Misses Wright quietly lays a handkerchief on his desk

  • A magical moment, doing something so gentile

  • a gentile nature

  • the heart of it not words

• A deep memory of empathy?

  • yes, I would have liked that to have been in my family

  • Misses Wright - that was the way to be

  • parents were wonderful but there were times that were not quite right

• A beacon of empathy?

  • yes

• As you went along you found the vocabulary for empathy?

  • in connection with your own heart

  • wanting love,

  • parents were verbal fighters - When little I was the scissor queen

  • cut out the paper dolls that were connected

  •  and tried to bring them together

  • connect them back

  • there is another way

  • getting excited I was going to connected them

  • a began  looking for how people relate to each other

  • judgments and criticism with yourself is just as critical

  • empathy a life long inspiration and companion

• Other discoveries for a vocabulary?

  • In college Carl Rodgers

  • then NVC with Marshall Rosenberg

• Any other insights on empathy?

  • empathy is a quiet place

  • harder to find empathy in noisy place

  • go slower

• A Metaphor?

  • different ones at different times

  • something with water

  • a golden ring - solid and light

  • encircles my heart and your heart

  • precious - connecting

• Opposite of empathy?

  • empathy and alone

  • a ice cub in the desert that takes a life time to melt

• Dialogue between them?

  • the ring rolling in time and space into the desert

  • fall around the ice and welcome it like it is

  • the ice cub would melt knowing there is a witness

  • become with the sand and be

Bob on His First Experiences with Empathy & the Power of Empathy
 

      Outline

• The power of empathy speaks to you?

  • someone coming to me - seeing through my eyes

  • empathy groups - people guess where I am

  • taking the journey with me

  • helping find me

  • so powerful and encouraging

• The first time it happened?

  • a previous workshop

  • someone gave me empathy

  • it was almost painful

  • I felt safe

• I wouldn't be judge?

  •  was lacking in my life

  • grew up with lack of it

• What happed?

  • examples of what is not empathy

    • was easy - I had learned it

    • that's the sad thing

  • had learned not having empathy growing up and in society

    • empathy blockers

      • asking question

      • telling your own story

• A metaphor of empathy?

  • a hand around my shoulder - listening with love

Ted Hill on Saving Money with Empathy

      Outline

• I have friends that lean right politically

  • the issue of government spending and waste comes up

  • I wish we could be objective

  • in Afghanistan they are trying empathy

  • would be cheaper to use empathy

  • a great way to cut back on government spending

  • in prisons as well

  • children, adolescence -so they don't act out

  • war is expensive

• Is empathy a value to you?

  • yes, people like being listened to

  • if more listening - less negative story

  • cycle of violence

• Have you personally saved money with empathy?

  • yes, relationships with women

  • I'm a good listener, so I

  • relationships that don't work cost a lot of money

  • I'd like to save money

• How did empathy become important to you?

  • became aware in college

  • listening skills are big

  • a gradual development

  • had a relationship where we heard each other.

• A metaphor?

  • it's a mirror shining back

  • makes you feel safe

  • versus blame and judgment

Photos 1 and Photos 2