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Benefits Outline
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Good Feelings
Feel: Damn Good!!!
Acceptance
Aliveness
Authenticity
Belonging
Calmness & Relaxation
Caring
Connection
Compassion
Cooperation
Creativity
Creative flow
Closeness
Happiness
Healing
Heard
Identity
Inclusion
Self Integration (wholeness)
Intimacy
Love
Mutual Validation
Openness
Presence
Resilience
Safe
Seen
Self-Empathy
Spaciousness
Transcendence
Trust
Less
Negative Feelings
Feel Less;
Aggressiveness
Alienation
Anger
Anxiety
Burnout
Conflict: personal or social
Confusion
Cynicism
Despair
Depression
Fear
Judgment
Loneliness
Narcissism
Pain
Pathologies
PTSD
Psychopathy
Righteousness
Schizophrenia
Selfishness
Self-Doubt
Self-Judgment
Shame
Stuckness
Suffering
Resentments
Trauma
Troubled
Distress
Frustrated
Foundation
of Morality
Way of
Knowing
Fosters
Values
Authenticity
Community
Communication
Collaboration
Cooperation
Creativity
Democracy
Effective
Communication
Healing
Removes Internal Blocks
Conflict Resolution
Peace
Positive Change
Personal Growth
Imagination
Innovation
Leadership
Learning
Problem Solving
Resilience
Self Understanding
Understanding
Feeling Heard
In
Contexts
Animal Care
Business & Work
Education & School
HealthCare System
Home & Family
International Relations
Justice System
Organizations
Media
Political System
Romanic Relationships
Others
able to take others perspectives
Articles
Interviews
Peoples Comments
To Do
Sort
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Benefits of Empathy
(this page is in development)
http://j.mp/UUZ1RR
The Project
We want to systematically lay out the benefits of
empathy in this project. We need to show people why empathy is so
beneficial to their well being so they will be inspired to cultivate
it in their lives and promote it in society. We need
to create a benefits organizational framework. I’m imagining
fleshing out each benefit with a write-up, drawings, stories,
interviews, etc. and making an entertaining video clip of each one as
well.
Join the
project team to work on this.
Challenge Questions
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How might we articulate, describe and express the
benefits of empathy?
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How will empathy be helpful and promote
or enhance your well being and the people you care about?
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Why practice, nurture and foster empathy in your life and society?
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How will empathy help support and meet your needs, values, aspirations
and dreams?
What does 'benefit' mean?
Benefit
- from Latin benefactum 'good deed',
- to be useful or profitable to
- something that is advantageous or good; an
advantage:
- to do good to; be of service to:
- something that promotes well-being
Well-being
- the state of being healthy, happy, or
prosperous; welfare.
- a good or satisfactory condition of
existence;
- a state characterized by health, happiness,
and prosperity; welfare.
Helpful
- serving a useful function; giving help
- giving or rendering aid or assistance; of
service.
- to keep from weakening or failing;
strengthen
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Overview Of Benefits
Empathy has many benefits. First, it feels really good. The pleasure
centers of the brain light up when we are empathically heard and
understood. It reduces stress and fosters resilience, trust, healing,
personal growth, creativity, learning and nourishing connection. Empathy
also transforms conflict, and supports sustainable collaborative action
and positive social change.
In Brief, Empathy;
1. Fosters
good, pleasurable and positive feelings
Feels really good. Pleasure centers of the brain light up.
2. Is a Way of
Being in Life and the World.
Gives a sense of identity. I am an empathic person and will strive
to live that way in the world.
3. Fosters emotional and physical health and well-being
Via connection, care, inclusion, Community, etc.
4. Heals painful psychological problems
(loneliness, alienation, anxiety, fear, depression, despair, shame, etc)
5. Is the active ingredient in conflict resolution
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Can head off conflicts before they happen
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Keeps
conflicts from escalating
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Is the key active ingredient for conflict resolution.
6. Is a Source of
Creativity, Innovation and Transformative Action
7.
Is a Gateway to, and Supports, Socially Desirable Values
(Healing, happiness, collaboration, understanding, creativity,
innovation, etc)
8. Expands our
Perspectives
-
Is a Way of Knowing (like a sixth sense)
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Is a Way of Knowing what others know
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Gives you
multiple perspectives, eyes and hands on a situation
-
Gives you more
perspectives on self
9. Helps
Us Find and Meet Our Needs,
Values and Aspirations
10. Increases helping and altruism behavior.
(Batson et al., 1987; Eisenberg & Miller, 1987; Krebs, 1975; Toi &
Batson, 1982).
11. Has Many Benefits in Specific Contexts
Below we go more in-depth.
Good Feelings
Empathy is sensed as a felt bodily and
visceral experience.
Let's describe that
positive emotional constellation or landscape. While empathy in the broadest sense
feels good, let's look more closely at the specific good feelings.
What are those good feelings? They can be individually described.
You feel a
cornucopia of feelings instead of being emotionally monotone, blocked and
constricted.
People often talk about never having been heard in this way and how
good it feels when they have been deeply heard.
Empathy
Feels Damn Good
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To me the first overall benefit of
empathy, like Carl Rogers so eloquently states, is that, "IT FEELS
DAMN GOOD!" For me this is perhaps a primary draw of empathy.
It just feels so good.
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Pleasure Centers of the Brain Light
Up
Sylvia
Morelli
says, when we are understood, or empathized with,
the pleasure centers of the brain light up. In other words,
feeling empathized with feels good. "Behavioral
research has demonstrated that feeling understood by others
enhances social closeness and intimacy, as well as subjective
well-being. In contrast, feeling misunderstood can be harmful to
social relationships, leading to loneliness and isolation.
However, it is still unclear why and how felt understanding
exerts such a powerful impact on both interpersonal and
intrapersonal well-being" |
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When we have
an empathic matching of body movements, even in babies before
they can speak, the pleasure centers of their brain light up. "every parent knows that mimicking a baby's behavior, such as
clapping hands, brings the child pleasure. Imaging technology
has confirmed that this kind of play activates the pleasure
center in the baby's brain, whereas engaging in a mismatched
activity doesn't."
Wise Beyond Their Years: What Babies Really Know |
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Bodies in sync experience pleasure. When we are
deeply heard, the other is in sync with us. It releases
Oxytocin I believe. I have the deep feeling of coming together in love making. |
Pair of Lovers, by Pal Szinyei Merse |
"Which leads us back to the
brain’s pleasure center, or reward center. Empathy triggers
dopamine and serotonin, neurochemicals associated with the
reward center’s conjoined twin, the brain’s emotion center. If,
as the scientific literature indicates, mere laughter stimulates
the reward center, how much more stimulating would be the act of
immersing yourself in the world of another?" David Cameron
- The
Look of Love - Love's many splendors begin with empathy and
attachment, |
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“How selfish soever man may be supposed, there
are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him
in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary
to him, though he derives nothing from it except the pleasure of
seeing it.” Adam Smith |
Feel Connection
(versus disconnection, loneliness,
alienation)
"I define connection as the energy that exists
between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can
give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance
and strength from the relationship." Brené Brown
“The
great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we
can all sense a mysterious connection to each other.” Meryl
Streep
Feel Presence
(versus distance, alone and alienated)
Fighting, Fleeing, Freezing or
Empathizing
With empathy you will develop more presence. Instead of withdrawing,
you stay open and present with yourself and others.
Feel More Openness
(versus deceptive, closed off, hidden, bottle up)
When you start to develop your powers of empathy and
imagination, the whole world opens up to you. Susan
Sarandon
Feel Spaciousness
(versus constricted, boxed in and
cramped)
Being empathically heard allows you open up
and unfold. In time you can feel a greater sense of spaciousness. The
bodily muscles relax
Feel
More Calm and Relaxed
(versus agitated, nervous and tense)
Feel Deeper Intimacy
(versus aloneness, antagonism, disunion and isolation)
you will feel
more intimacy and closeness.
"When empathy is extended, it satisfies our needs and wish for
intimacy, it rescues us from our feelings of aloneness."
Carl Rogers
Feel Deeper Caring
(versus indifference, disregard, ignored and neglected)
Feel caring for
others and feel cared about.
Carl Rogers
writes,
"Another meaning of empathic understanding to the recipient is that
someone values him, cares, accepts the person that he is.
It might seem that we have here stepped into another area, and that we
are no longer speaking of empathy. But this is not so. It is impossible
accurately to sense the perceptual world of another person unless you
value that person and his world - unless you in some sense care. Hence
the message comes through to the recipient that "this other individual
trusts me, thinks I'm worthwhile. Perhaps I am worth something. Perhaps
I could value myself. Perhaps I could care for myself."
A vivid example of this comes from a young man who has been a recipient
of much sensitive understanding, and who is now in the later stages of
his therapy:
Client: I could even conceive of it as
a possibility that I could have a kind of tender concern for me.
Still, how could I be tender, be concerned for myself, when they're
one and the same thing? But yet I can feel it so clearly. You know,
like taking care of a child. You want to give it this and give it
that. I can kind of clearly see the purposes for somebody else but I
can never see them for myself, that I could do this for me, you know.
Is it possible that I can really want to take care of myself, and make
that a major purpose of my life? That means I'd have to deal with the
whole world as it I were guardian of the most cherished and most
wanted possession, that this / was between this precious me that I
wanted to take care of and the whole world It's almost as if I loved
myself - you know - that's strange but it's true.
Therapist: It seems such a strange concept to realize. It would mean
'I would face the world as though a part of my primary responsibility
was taking care of this precious individual who is me - whom I love.'
Client: Whom I care for--whom I feel so close to. Woof! That's another
strange one.
Therapist: It just seems weird.
Client: Yeah. It hits rather close somehow. The idea of my loving me
and the taking care of me. (His eyes grow moist.) That's a very nice
one very nice."
Feel Happiness
(versus sad and depressed)
Feel Acceptance
(versus unaccepted and excluded)
"Still another impact of a sensitive understanding comes from its
nonjudgmental quality. The highest expression of empathy is accepting
and nonjudgmental.
[Note: Removes judgment, can be yourself and more self acceptance]
This is true because it is impossible to be accurately perceptive of
another's inner world, if you have formed an evaluative opinion of him.
If you doubt this statement, choose someone you know with whom you
deeply disagree, and who is in your judgment definitely wrong or
mistaken. Now try to state his views, beliefs, feelings, so accurately
that he will agree that this is a sensitively correct description of his
stance. I predict that nine times out of ten you will fail, because your
judgment of his views creeps into your description of them.
Consequently, true empathy is always free of any evaluative or
diagnostic quality. This comes across to the recipient with some
surprise. "If I am not being judged, perhaps I am not so evil or
abnormal as I have thought. Perhaps I don't have to judge myself so
harshly." Thus gradually the possibility of self-acceptance is
increased.
There comes to mind a psychologist whose interest in psychotherapy
started as a result of his research in visual perception. In this
research many students were interviewed and asked to relate their visual
and perceptual history, including any difficulties in seeing, in
reading, their reaction to wearing glasses, etc. The psychologist simply
listened with interest, made no judgments on what he was hearing, and
completed the gathering of his data. To his amazement, a number of these
students returned spontaneously to thank him for all the help he had
given them. He had, in his opinion, given them no help at all. But it
forced him to recognize that interested non- evaluative listening was a
potent therapeutic force, even when directed at a narrow sector of life,
and when there was no intent of being helpful.
Perhaps another way of putting some of what I have been saying is that a
finely tuned understanding by another individual gives the recipient his
personhood, his identity. Laing (1965) has said that "the sense of
identity requires the existence of another by whom one is known" (p.
139).
[Note: I am a person who is worthy of being listened to and of being
heard. In our society you have to have fame or money or power, etc to be
worthy of being heard.] Carl Rogers
Feel Seen
(versus unseen, invisible, ignored, neglected and overlooked)
Feel Your Own Identity
(versus a loss of self)
"Buber has also spoken of the need to have our existence confirmed by
another. Empathy gives that needed confirmation that one does exist as a
separate, valued person with an identity.
Let us turn to a more specific result of an interaction in which the
individual feels understood. He finds himself revealing material he has
never communicated before, and in the process he discovers a previously
unknown element in himself. Such an element may be "I never knew before
that I was angry at my father," or "I never realized that I am afraid of
succeeding." Such discoveries are unsettling but exciting. To perceive a
new aspect of oneself is the first step toward changing the concept of
oneself. The new element is, in an understanding atmosphere, owned and
assimilated into a now altered self-concept. This is the basis, in my
estimation, of the behavior changes which can come about as a result of
psychotherapy. Once the self-concept changes, behavior changes to match
the freshly perceived self."
Carl Rogers
Feel Creativity
(versus
blocked and dulled)
Empathic Creativity: By empathizing with someone, we
share each others feelings and thoughts. There's a feeling of
creativity that comes up and we mutually create new ideas and
possibilities. There's a freshness, a burst of energy that
comes with each new idea or inspiration. A new energy for taking
action.
Feel Love
(versus dislike and hate)
Empathy is the first steps toward feeling deeper caring and love.
“Love is about bottomless empathy, born out of the
heart’s revelation that another person is every bit as real as you
are. And this is why love, as I understand it, is always specific.
Trying to love all of humanity may be a worthy endeavor, but, in a
funny way, it keeps the focus on the self, on the self’s own moral
or spiritual well-being. Whereas, to love a specific person, and to
identify with his or her struggles and joys as if they were your
own, you have to surrender some of your self.” Jonathan
Franzen, Farther
Away
Love is that enviable state that knows no envy or
vanity, only empathy and a longing to be greater than oneself.
Thomas More
"But the scientific evidence is unmistakable:
Whatever this thing called love is, we humans need it. Deep
attachments to others—and the pleasure–center stimulation those
links cause—are as vital to our bodies and minds as food and sleep.
Their absence carries catastrophic risk to our health and
well–being."
The Look of Love: Love's
many splendors begin with empathy and attachment by David Cameron.
"It is, I believe, the therapist's caring understanding--exhibited in
this excerpt as well as previously--which has permitted this client to
experience a high regard, even a love, for himself."
Carl Rogers (i.e. Being
empathized with in a caring way allows the person who is heard to
have high regard and even love for themselves.)
Feel Attachment
Feel Power
"Power comes not from the barrel of a gun, but from
one's awareness of his or her own cultural strength and the
unlimited capacity to empathize with, feel for, care, and love one's
brothers and sisters." "Addison Gayle, Jr.
Feel Transcendent
Truth
"There is another peculiar satisfaction in really
hearing someone: It is like listening to the music of the spheres,
because beyond the immediate message of the person, no matter what
that might be, there is the universal. Hidden in all of the personal
communications which I really hear there seem to be orderly
psychological laws, aspects of the same order we find in the
universe as a whole. So there is both the satisfaction of hearing
this person and also the satisfaction of feeling one's self in touch
with what is universally true".
Carl Rogers - Experiences in Communication
Greater Self-awareness, Self-Empathy,
Self-Connection
One way to get connected more deeply to our
own inner feelings is to withdraw, find solitude or meditate, etc. While
that can sometimes help, being empathized with, also allows us to
connect more deeply with our own inner feelings, sensations and
creativity.
Aliveness
Authenticity
Belonging
(vr exclusion,
ostracism,
ignoring, shunned)
"a
sense of belonging is a sine qua non of healthy psychological
functioning everywhere. Such a sense, beginning in infancy and
continuing throughout life, comes about by experiencing mutual
empathy; by sensing oneself as part of a whole, which recognizes
and accepts that one is a member." Maureen
O'Hara
Cooperative
Creative
flow
Closeness
Empathy
Empathy has the benefit of creating more empathy..
Creating a virtuous cycle.
"We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being
defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe,
give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or
(c) take time out."
Marshall Rosenberg
Healing
"If you think ahead to what to say next – like
how to fix it or make the person feel better – BOOM! Off the
board! You’re into the future. Empathy requires staying with the
energy that’s here right now. Not using any technique. Just being
present. When I have really connected to this energy, it’s like I
wasn’t there. I call this “watching the magic show.” In this
presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal
anything, and this relieves me from my “fix-it” tendencies."
Marshall Rosenberg
Inclusion
Compassion
Trust (vrs mistrust, suspicion)
Wisdom
Resilience
I find the more I'm empathized with, heard and seen,
the more resilience I have in. Also learning how to empathize with
others, especially in tense or conflicted situations adds to the
resilience.
Safety
”The more we empathize with the other party, the
safer we feel.”
Marshall Rosenberg
Self-Exploration
By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we
offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior
selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too
quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express
ourselves."
Marshall Rosenberg
Self
Integration (wholeness) (vrs a
fragmented, divided, disjointed, separated self )
Empathy brings the different parts of
yourself together. If parts of ones-self are fragmented or at odds
with each other, empathy can bring them together to create a feeling
of integration and wholeness. This might be a whole
benefit of it's own.
Understanding
”The best way I can get understanding from another
person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them
to hear my needs and feelings, I first need to empathize.” Marshall
Rosenberg
Vulnerable
”Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable,
defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking
it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the
feelings and needs expressed through silence.” Marshall
Rosenberg
Empathy Can Keep You from Entering Negative and
Painful Feelings
A benefit of empathy would be that it keeps us
from entering negative or painful feelings like confusion, anxiety,
alienation, loss of identity, not feeling heard, etc, etc. It's a
form of preventative care.
Less Negative and Painful
Feelings - Empathy is the Antidote to these:
Once we are in a negative or painful emotional state,
empathy can help bring us back to more positive feelings.
Many of the problems that can be addressed with empathy are located here
on this Therapy
Issues page.
"When the other person is hurting, confused, troubled,
anxious, alienated, terrified; or when he or she is doubtful of
self-worth, uncertain as to identity, then understanding is called
for. The gentle and sensitive companionship of an empathic stance…
provides illumination and healing. In such situations deep
understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift one can give to
another".
Carl Rogers
”Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing
effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with
someone who can hear them empathically.” Marshall
Rosenberg
Alienation
"In the first place, it dissolves alienation. For the moment, at
least, the recipient finds himself/ herself a connected part of the
human race. Though it may not be articulated clearly, the experience
goes something like this.
"I have been talking about hidden things, partly veiled even from
myself, feelings that are strange, possibly abnormal, feelings I
have never communicated to another, nor even clearly to myself. And
yet he has understood, understood them even more clearly than I do.
If he knows that I am talking about, what I mean, then to this
degree I am not so strange, or alien, or set apart. I make sense to
another human being. So I am in touch with, even in relationship
with, others. I am no longer an isolate."
Carl Rogers
From
Empathic: An Unappreciated Way of Being
" when
a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I
think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he
were saying, "Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's
like to be me." Carl
Rogers - Experiences in Communication
Loneliness
“We all suffer alone in the real world. True
empathy's impossible. But if a piece of fiction can alow us
imaginatively to identify with a character's pain, we might then
also more easily conceive of others identifying with their own. This
is nourishing, redemptive; we become less alone inside. It might
just be that simple.” David Foster Wallace
Conflict - Personal or social
Cynicism
Pain
"Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of
psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who
can hear them empathically.” Marshall
Rosenberg
”Empathy
gives you the ability to enjoy another person's pain.”
Marshall Rosenberg
Suffering - relates to compassion.
"Deep
listening is the kind of listening that can help relieve the
suffering of another person. You can call it compassionate
listening. You listen with only one purpose: to help him or her to
empty his heart." Thich
Nhat Hanh
Anxiety
Fear
”The more we empathize with the other party, the
safer we feel.” Marshall
Rosenberg
Anger
The opposite of anger is not calmness, its empathy.
Mehmet Oz
Grief
Depression
”To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to
empathize with them can free us from depression.” Marshall
Rosenberg
”NVC enhances inner communication by helping us
translate negative internal messages into feelings and needs. Our
ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize
with them can free us from depression.” Marshall
Rosenberg
Stuckness
Self-Doubt
Self-Judgment
"Translate all self-judgments into self-empathy." Marshall
Rosenberg
Confusion
It is astonishing how
elements which seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens.
How confusions which seem irremediable turn into relatively clear
flowing streams when one is heard. " Carl
Rogers
Troubled
Distress
Frustrated
-
feeling frustrated at not being heard.
Righteousness (self-righteous)
“Empathy is an antidote to righteousness, although
it’s very difficult to empathize across a moral divide.” Jonathan
Haidt, from The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by
Politics and Religion
Shame
"Shame needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence,
and judgment.... You put the same amount of shame in a petri dish and
you dowse it with empathy, you've create an environment that is
hostile to shame. Shame cannot survive being spoken. It can't
survive empathy. If I call you and something very shaming happened
to me,... and I tell you, and you express empathy, shame can't
survive it. Shame depends on me buying into the belief that I am
alone, "
Brené Brown
Pathologies
Narcissism
Psychopathy
Schizophrenia
Others
Addiction Gabor Mate
Boundaries
Communication Difficulties
Healing Survivors of child abuse/ neglect &
victims of psychopaths
Healing PTSD
Racism
Resentments
- (Newt
Bailey suggestion and clip: It can help you get rid of resentment)
Sadness
Needs are Met
”Our goal is to create a quality of empathic
connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.” Marshall
Rosenberg
”If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with
my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the
more likely I am to get me own needs met.”
Marshall Rosenberg
Others to Sort
”Empathy allows us to re-perceive our world in a new
way and move forward ”
Marshall Rosenberg
”Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay
vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help us hear the word 'no'
without taking it as a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and
even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.”
Marshall Rosenberg
”Our
ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse
potential violence, help us hear the word 'no' without taking it as
a rejection, revive lifeless conversation, and even hear the
feelings and needs expressed through silence.” Marshall
Rosenberg
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Foundation for Morality
Morality is about a code or doctrine of conduct. It is often seen as
what is right or wrong, good or bad. Empathy is a building block
of morality and the foundation of the golden rule. We can have a code
of conduct that we want to be empathic and contribute to the well being of others and
support their needs.
(see Michael
Slote)
(see Martin Hoffman)
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A Way
of Knowing
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Epistemological benefits. Empathy "gives us the benefit of what others are
thinking and have learned and constitutes a way of knowing about
things that is somewhat independent of the usual modes of knowing:
perception, memory, and inference".
Michael
Slote
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(is empathy like a sixth sense?)
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A way of knowing with direct mirrored sensing.
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A way of knowing with imaginative empathic role taking.
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Empathy allows emulation and imitation: this way of
knowing allows for fast learning . See the polar bear slow adaptation
versus human fast adaptation story by VS
Ramachandran.
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Foundation of Helping: You Can Help and Contribute to Others Wellbeing
"I discovered that simply listening to my client, very
attentively, was an important way of being helpful. "
Carl Rogers
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Supports Positive Social Values
"Empathy is the greatest virtue. From it, all virtues flow. Without it,
all virtues are an act." Eric Zorn
"I thought, "Why? and how did we evolve with this weak, and useless
passion in tact within the deep heart's core?" And the answer as I've
formulated it to myself is that
empathy is
the engine that powers all the best in us." Meryl
Streep
Promotes Health
Study: How positive emotions build physical health: perceived positive
social connections account for the upward spiral between positive
emotions and vagal tone.
Results suggest that
positive emotions, positive social connections, and physical health
influence one another in a self-sustaining upward-spiral dynamic.
Empathy provides more than just information about
relationships. It is an expression of being in relationship. It is not
just a means to better healing relationship, but because it recenters
relationship as a central organizing feature of psychic life, empathy
itself is healing. The experience of being known and accepted deeply
by another, being aware of another being aware of you, what Jordan
calls "mutual empathy" Maureen O'Hara
Promotes Healing -
(Physical and Emotional)
Emotional
"The gentle and sensitive
companionship of an empathic stance - accompanied of course by the
other two attitudes - provides illumination and healing. In such
situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift
one can give to another."
Carl Rogers
"situations in which the empathic way of being has the highest priority.
When the other person is hurting, confused, troubled, anxious,
alienated, terrified; or when he or she is doubtful of self-worth,
uncertain as to identity, then understanding is called for. The gentle and sensitive
companionship of an empathic stance - accompanied of course by the
other two attitudes - provides illumination and healing. In such
situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift
one can give to another."
Carl Rogers
Empathy can improve
psychological outcomes for patients with cancer and palliative care
patients
Reduces bad stress and inflammation
Physical
Foster Positive Change
"Over the years, however, the research evidence keeps
piling up, and it points strongly to the conclusion that a high
degree of empathy in a relationship is possibly the most potent and
certainly one of the most potent factors in bringing about change
and learning."
Carl Rogers
"This kind of sensitive, active listening is exceedingly rare in our
lives. We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real
understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special
kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know. How does this climate which I have just described bring about
change? Briefly, as persons are accepted and prized, they tend to
develop a more caring attitude toward themselves. As persons
are empathetically heard, it becomes possible for them to listen more
accurately to the flow of inner experiencings. But as a person
understands and prizes self, the self becomes more congruent with the
experiencings. The person thus becomes more real, more genuine. These
tendencies, the reciprocal of the therapist's attitudes, enable the
person to be a more effective growth-enhancer for himself or herself.
There is a greater freedom to be the true, whole person.”
Carl Rogers
Extremely important in understanding and
"effecting changes in personality and behavior."
Carl Rogers
"ways of being with people which evoke self-directed
change, which locate power in the person, not the expert, and this
brings me again to examine carefully what we mean by empathy and
what we have come to know about it."
Carl Rogers
"Empathy is clearly related to
positive outcome. From schizophrenic patients to pupils in ordinary
classrooms; from clients of a counseling center to teachers in
training; from neurotics in Germany to neurotics in the United
States, the evidence is the same, and it indicates that the more the
therapist or teacher is sensitively understanding, the more likely
is constructive learning and change."
Carl Rogers
Empathy is the only human superpower-it can shrink
distance, cut through social and power hierarchies, transcend
differences, and provoke political and social change. Elizabeth
Thomas
"a listening, empathic approach leads
to improved communication,
to greater acceptance of others and by others, and
to attitudes which are more positive and more problem-solving in
nature.
There is a decrease
in defensiveness,
in exaggerated statements,
in evaluative and critical behavior."
Carl Rogers
A Source of Personal
Growth
Promoting Self Growth
more accurate sense of self.
a powerful source of change and growth
Promotes Creativity
”Only by examining our personal biases can we truly
grow as artists; only by cultivating empathy can we truly grow as
people.” Jen Knox
Leads to Greater Authenticity
Fosters Connection
Dissolves Alienation
"For the moment, at least, the recipient finds himself/ herself a
connected part of the human race. Though it may not be articulated
clearly, the experience goes something like this. "I have been talking
about hidden things, partly veiled even from myself, feelings that are
strange, possibly abnormal, feelings I have never communicated to
another, nor even clearly to myself. And yet he has understood,
understood them even more clearly than I do. If he knows that I am
talking about, what I mean, then to this degree I am not so strange, or
alien, or set apart. I make sense to another human being. So I am in
touch with, even in relationship with, others. I am no longer an
isolate."
Perhaps this explains one of the major findings of our study of
psychotherapy with schizophrenics. We found that those patients
receiving from their therapists a high degree of accurate empathy as
rated by unbiased judges, showed the sharpest reduction in
schizophrenicpathology as measured by the MMPI (Rogers, et al, 1967, p.
85). This suggests that the sensitive understanding by another may have
been the most potent element in bringing the schizophrenic out of his
estrangement, and into the world of relatedness. Jung has said that the
schizophrenic ceases to be schizophrenic when he meets someone by whom
he feels understood. Our study provides empirical evidence in support of
that statement.
Other studies, both of schizophrenics and of counseling center clients,
show that low empathy is related to a slight worsening in adjustment or
pathology. Here, too, the findings make sense. It is as if the
individual concludes "If no one understands me, if no one can grasp what
these experiences are like, then I am indeed in a bad way more abnormal
than I thought." One of Laing's patients states this vividly in
describing earlier contacts with psychiatrists:
It's a most terrifying feeling to realize that the doctor can't see the
real you, that he can't understand what you feel and that he's just
going ahead with his own ideas. I would start to feel that I was
invisible or maybe not there at all (Laing, 1965, p. 166). "
Carl Rogers
"Only curiosity about the fate of others, the ability
to put ourselves in their shoes, and the will to enter their world
through the magic of imagination, creates this shock of recognition.
Without this empathy there can be no genuine dialogue, and we as
individuals and nations will remain isolated and alien, segregated
and fragmented." Azar Nafisi
Education – Learn more and better
"If we think, however, that empathy is effective only in the one-to-one
relationship we call psychotherapy, we are greatly mistaken. Even in the
classroom it makes an important difference. When the teacher shows
evidence that he/she understands the meaning of classroom experiences
for the student, learning improves. In studies made by Aspy and
colleagues, it was found that children's reading improved significantly
more when teachers exhibited a high degree of understanding than in
classrooms where such understanding did not exist. This finding has been
replicated in many classrooms (Aspy, 1972, Ch.4; Aspy and Roebuck,
1975). Just as the client in psychotherapy finds that empathy provides a
climate for learning more of himself, so the student in the classroom
finds himself in a climate for learning subject matter, when he is in
the presence of an understanding teacher."
Carl Rogers
"I
believe I know why it is satisfying to me to hear someone. When I
can really hear someone, it puts me in touch with him; it enriches
my life. It is through hearing people that I have learned all that I
know about individuals, about personality, about interpersonal
relationships."
Carl Rogers - Experiences in Communication
Learning is a result of listening, which in turn
leads to even better listening and attentiveness to the other
person. In other words, to learn from the child, we must have
empathy, and empathy grows as we learn. Alice Miller
Deepens Self Understanding
and Removes Internal Blocks
Imagination -
Supports imagination
“Imagination is not only the uniquely human capacity
to envision that which is not - and therefore the fount of all
invention and innovation - in its’ arguably most tranformative and
revelatory capacity it is the power that enables us to empathize
with humans whose experiences we have never shared.” ― J.K. Rowling
A
Source of Creativity
"Caring is an attitude which is known
to foster creativity -- a nurturing climate in which delicate,
tentative new thoughts and productive processes can emerge. "
Carl Rogers
"Empathic, emotionally intelligent work environments
have a good track record of increasing creativity, improving problem
solving and raising productivity." Daniel
Goleman
The field of Empathic Design or human-centered design
makes the case for the benefits of empathy in fostering creativity
and innovation.
"We find that with more empathy, with more of a
human-centered approach, people are able to do that more easily.
They are more motivated and become more effective in their lives."
David Kelley
"What do we mean by empathy in terms of creativity
and innovation? For us, it’s the ability to see an experience
through another person’s eyes, to recognize why people do what they
do. It’s when you go into the field and watch people interact with
products and services in real time—what we sometimes refer to as
“design research.”
Gaining empathy can take some time and resourcefulness. But there is
nothing like observing the person you’re creating something for to
spark new insights. And when you specifically set out to empathize
with your end user, you get your own ego out of the way. We’ve found
that figuring out what other people actually need is what leads to
the most significant innovations. In other words, empathy is a
gateway to the better and sometimes surprising insights that can
help distinguish your idea or approach."
David Kelley and Tom Kelley
A
Source of Innovation
"Design empathy is an approach that draws upon people’s
real-world experiences to address modern challenges. When companies
allow a deep emotional understanding of people’s needs to inspire
them—and transform their work, their teams, and even their
organization at large—they unlock the creative capacity for
innovation."
By Katja Battarbee, Jane Fulton Suri, and Suzanne Gibbs Howard, IDEO
"Empathy is a
powerful force. Research shows that when we are empathetic, we enhance
our ability to receive and process information. Putting ourselves in
someone else’s shoes—a part of our subconscious behavior—causes
measurable changes in our cognitive style, increasing our so-called
field-dependent thinking. This type of thinking helps us put
information in context and pick up contextual cues from the
environment, which is essential when we’re seeking to understand how
things relate to one another, literally and figuratively. Research
also shows that we are more helpful and generous after an empathic
encounter (Decety and Ickes, 2011). Taken together, this empathetic
behavior personally motivates us to solve design challenges".
By Katja Battarbee, Jane Fulton Suri, and Suzanne Gibbs Howard, IDEO
Foundation of Collaboration
Increased Cooperation
"increased cooperation and care in conflict situations, including
conflict in bargaining and negotiations, ethnic, religious, and
political conflicts, and racial conflicts in educational settings;
"
Benefits of Empathy-Induced Altruism
- C. Daniel Batson
Fosters Understanding
(of others)
Empathy has the benefit of people being about to
understand the world of another. We can understand their feelings,
intentions, desires needs, etc. (how is this beneficial?) It expands
our world and enriches it. It expands the range of our
understanding.
You can only understand people if you feel them in
yourself. John Steinbeck , East of Eden
“Reading fiction not only develops our imagination
and creativity, it gives us the skills to be alone. It gives us the
ability to feel empathy for people we've never met, living lives we
couldn't possibly experience for ourselves, because the book puts us
inside the character's skin.” - Ann Patchett
"The third facilitative aspect of the relationship is
empathic understanding. This means that the therapist senses
accurately the feelings and personal meanings that the client is
experiencing and communicates this understanding to the client. When
functioning best, the therapist is so much inside the private world
of the other that he or she can clarify not only the meanings of
which the client is aware but even those just below the level of
awareness. This kind of
sensitive, active listening is exceedingly rare in our lives. We
think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real
understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special
kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know." Carl
Rogers - Empathic:
An Unappreciated Way of Being
"The state of empathy, or being empathic, is to
perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy
and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto
as if one were the person." Carl
Rogers - Empathic:
An Unappreciated Way of Being
"Empathy means both understanding others on their own
terms and bringing them within the orbit of one's own experience." -
Jacob A. Belzen
Empathic
Resilience
Develop your empathic resilience.
It is a sense of spaciousness,
greater ability to recover readily
from illness, depression, adversity, or the like;
you will have better resilience to adversity
Feeling Heard
Be heard deeply personal support
Feeling heard, puts me at peace and new ideas flow
(creativity)
Problem Solving
Allows us to live not just in our own heads but in others' heads too
"Empathy
is a universal solvent. Any problem immersed in empathy becomes soluble."
Simon Baron-Cohen,
The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty
"Empathy is like a universal solvent. Any problem immersed in
empathy becomes soluble. It is effective as a way of anticipating
and resolving interpersonal problems, whether this is a marital
conflict, an international conflict, a problem at work,
difficulties in a friendship, political deadlocks, a family
dispute, or a problem with a neighbor." Simon Baron-Cohen
A number of times in my life I have felt myself
bursting with insoluble problems, or going round and round in
tormented circles I can testify that when you are in psychological
distress and someone really hears you without passing judgment on
you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying
to mold you, it feels damn good! It is astonishing how elements that
seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens, how confusions
that seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams
when one is heard.
Carl Rogers
Experiences
in Communication
"When I have been listened to and when I have been
heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go on.
It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble
when someone listens, how confusions that seem irremediable turn
into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard. I have
deeply appreciated the times that I have experienced this sensitive,
empathic, concentrated listening." Carl
Rogers - Experiences in Communication
"One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the
trouble to listen to us as we consider a problem, can change our
whole outlook on the world." E. H. Mayo
Learning from Others
It allows us to learn skills from
others
Learning from
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Mirroring Activity - Artists
copy the brush strokes of master painters to embody and take in
the style and emotion of the master painter.
-
Role Playing - doing
empathic role playing,
-
Being more relaxed and able to
study better
-
you will do
better academically.
-
it increase your emotional intelligence.
Leadership
Be a better leader
"Leaders with empathy do more than sympathize with people
around them: they use their knowledge to improve their companies in
subtle, but important ways." Daniel
Goleman
Leadership is about empathy. It is about having
the ability to relate to and connect with people for the purpose of
inspiring and empowering their lives.– Oprah Winfrey
"The main tenet of design thinking is empathy for the
people you're trying to design for. Leadership is exactly the same
thing--building empathy for the people that you're entrusted to
help. Once you understand what they really value, it's easy because
you can mostly give it to them. You can give them the freedom or
direction that they want. By getting down into the messy part of
really getting to know them and having transparent discussions, you
can get out of the way and let them go. The way I would measure
leadership is this: of the people that are working with me, how many
wake up in the morning thinking that the company is theirs?"" David
Kelley:
Conflict Resolution
is the foundation of conflict
resolution
Personal
Interpersonal and Societal
Effective Communication
"Man's inability to communicate is a result of his
failure to listen effectively." Carl Rogers
It's a Social Glue that Holds Society Together
Places without empathy are like Rwanda or Cambodia
during the genocides and killing fields.
A
Foundation for Democracy
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"Empathy is vital for a healthy
democracy, it ensures that we listen to different perspectives
and we hear other peoples emotions, and that we also feel
them. Indeed without empathy, democracy would not be
possible."
Simon Baron-Cohen
TEDx: The Erosion of
Empathy |
A
Foundation
of Peace
"Learning to stand in somebody else's shoes, to see through their
eyes, that's how peace begins. And it's up to you to make that
happen." Barack Obama
”Peace requires something far more difficult than
revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing
with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people
to attack each other. Being aware of those feelings and needs,
people lose their desires to attack back because they see the human
ignorance leading to those attacks. Instead, their goal becomes
providing the empathic connection and education that will enable
them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative
relationships.'” Marshall
Rosenberg
Throughout the world, teachers, sociologists, policymakers and
parents are discovering that empathy may be the single most
important quality that must be nurtured to give peace a fighting
chance. Arundhati Ray
Reconciliation is a deep practice that we can do with
our listening and our mindful speech. To reconcile means to bring
peace and happiness to nations, people, and members of our
family.... In order to reconcile, you have to possess the art of
deep listening, Thich
Nhat Hanh
"Listening
is a very deep practice….You have to empty yourself. You have to
leave space in order to listen….especially to people we think are
our enemies – the ones we believe are making our situation worse.
When you have shown your capacity for listening and understanding,
the other person will begin to listen to you, and you have a change
to tell him or her of your pain, and it’s your turn to be healed.
This is the practice of peace.” Thich
Nhat Hanh
”Peace requires something far more difficult than
revenge or merely turning the other cheek; it requires empathizing
with the fears and unmet needs that provide the impetus for people
to attack each other. Being aware of those feelings and needs,
people lose their desires to attack back because they see the human
ignorance leading to those attacks. Instead, their goal becomes
providing the empathic connection and education that will enable
them to transcend their violence and engage in cooperative
relationships.'” Marshall
Rosenberg
A Motivation for Altruism
A source of altruism in helping community
members in need of assistance.
Meeting the Needs of Others
"Empathetic people are superb at recognizing and
meeting the needs of clients, customers, or subordinates. They seem
approachable, wanting to hear what people have to say. They listen
carefully, picking up on what people are truly concerned about, and
respond on the mark," Primal Leadership.
Success
"If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the
ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from
his angle as well as your own. " Henry Ford
"Empathically accurate perceivers are those who are
consistently good at 'reading' other people's thoughts and feelings.
All else being equal, they are likely to be the most tactful advisors,
the most diplomatic officials, the most effective negotiators, the
most electable politicians, the most productive salespersons, the most
successful teachers, and the most insightful therapists." William John
Ickes
Benefits in Specific Contexts
This area is for the benefits of empathy in different
personal and social contexts. T
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Self-Empathy
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Romanic Relationships
-
you will have more
positive
close relationships, including family, friendships and romantic
relationships
-
less
likely to get a divorce.
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Home and Family
-
It makes for a more happy, nurturing and fulfilling
home life
-
Parents can read the needs of the infant and attend
to them.
-
Child Development
-
Fosters Healthy Children
Empathy allows parents to sense and feel the
needs of their newborns, and children so that they can attend to their
needs. If a parent a parent can '”read” and thereby address their
infant's needs, Attachment theory
-
School-
Education
-
Empathy
in Education by Bridget Cooper. Chapter 5
- The Benefits of Empathy in Teaching and Learning Relationships.
"According to teachers, an empathic approach has immediate effects,
but over time, as empathy becomes more profound, these effects
multiply. They fall into three main categories.
-
Reduces Bullying
-
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Business
and Work
-
Business Leadership
-
Human Centered Design
-
Organizations
-
HealthCare
-
it treat the whole person
-
speeds up recovery from disease
-
doctors have less burnout (article)
-
Empathy establishes a healthy
physician–patient relationship. how?
-
Physician empathy fulfills the patient’s basic human
need to be understood and potentially impacts therapeutic
effectiveness
-
"Our results show that physicians with high empathy
scores had better clinical outcomes than other physicians with lower
scores."
Mohammadreza Hojat
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Justice System
-
Political System
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Animal Care
-
Society
-
Fosters Social Cohesion and Connection
it is the social glue that hold society together.
"Empathy is vital for subtle communication, sensitive social
interaction, fine-tuned social awareness, and rapid, accurate
responses to others' non-verbal indicators of their changing mental
states. Practical benefits of empathy are
-
how a parent can '”read”
their infant's needs,
-
how a dispute can be diffused before it leads to
conflict,
-
how different perspectives can be appreciated,
-
and how we
can live not just in our own heads but in others' heads too."
Simon
Baron-Cohen
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