I think the circle is very powerful
and I feel always moved by the reflections. Yaffa Maritz
What a wonderful experience, thank you all so much! That was a
memorable first session of a virtual -yet so live and heartfelt -
(Empathy Circle) book club. I'm looking forward to the next meetings.
Maya Nader
"more efficient process, covering more ground. Good exercise."
Shelley Calissendorff
" active + reflective listening ok, good exercise. Do have a question:
it is easy to mistake reflective listening for empathy. It may be
empathy but it may not be empathy." Thomas White
"It brought me a sense of ease. Hearing things twice deepens the
connection." Edwin Rutsch
"agree, with good exercise and bonding. Noticed I get lazy sometimes,
listening less attentively because of second chance. The flow of the
conversation is important: not too long in order to be able to reflect
back and keep the flow going. There might be also different forms of
reflection." Lidewij Niezink
I feel so grateful for the experience of the EC today. I think I could
spend a week recording insights while doing the reflective listening
in the hammock weaving exercise. It was truly illuminating. I was
struck by how we addressed many layers of our connection at the same
time (or more accurately not at the same time, but as threads weaving
in and out of each other- the weaving metaphor was very apt).
There was space to express feelings and to respond to those, as well
as to explore the topic and follow some very interesting thought
lines. Reflecting on it I feel that we were 'hearing the 'unsaid' as
well as what we said in words. It seemed that we were able to hear
beyond the actual words we expressed and take the discourse ahead in
leaps. Interesting because it seems that the repetitive reflections
could be time wasting, whereas my experience was that we 'fitted' more
in to the time than we could have by conventional conversational
methods.
Maybe it is the deep listening that enables resonance and when
resonance is occurring we communicate at etheric levels or something!
I heard something very interesting recently about when strings are in
tune, or any sound/music making instruments are in tune, that that is
when the rich harmonics are created that express feeling and that
touch our hearts. I feel there is something very important happening
here. Imagine if we could learn to come into attunement as groups of
people exploring a topic and to hear the language of our collective
thought in some way beyond our usual use of words. I get goose bumps
about that.
I'm looking forward to our second go at hammock weaving next week with
Erika with us as well. love to you all., Alice Aird
"When we first started exploring reflective listening, I was
frustrated by how poorly I did it. I fumbled and projected... got
distracted by my own thoughts and what I wanted to express... it felt
unnatural, awkward, sterile and incredibly humbling to be such a
smudgy reflection for others, when I used to identify myself as a
clear and competent communicator.
Then, a few weeks into it, I noticed something remarkable happen... in
our 10/13/12 circle, I noticed an EXPANDED CAPACITY within me... as
if, somehow, the space inside me had grown larger, and could give more
room to the thoughts, ideas and expressions of others. And, at the
same time, my "need" to speak no longer had a sense of urgency.
I could contribute as speaker if the opportunity arose, and I'd be
equally content as active, engaged listener. No preference or
attachment to any outcome. Just full satisfaction with being there,
trusting the development of things, and enjoying the people (Edwin,
Lidewij, Alice and Shelly) who were catalyzing the development.
At one point, as Alice was speaking a gift of collective wisdom, I
experienced something that felt like a mind-meld... even though
observations were coming from her mouth, I felt so attuned to the
things she was saying, it was almost as if she was speaking on my
behalf.
Stronger than resonance, and very hard to describe, but what an
utterly pleasing thing to experience -- oneness and equanimity in
conversational connection -- with frequent bursts of boisterous
laughter and startling insights." Erika Harris
EmpathicWriter.com
Beautiful movement... I love the empathy candle idea that represents
your intention! I am going to be beginning my own empathy-based
circle, live, in November. Watching some of your stuff, and reading
your posts is helping me conceptualize how that will 'materialize.'
Your sharing is already assisting me and the women who will be
attending! THANK YOU from Hawaii! ♥ Mary Regina Beaston
" It was very good for me. I especially enjoyed you
"doing your own thing" - with "the tickling in your toes sensation". I
say doing your own thing cause I wasn't there emotionally, and you
still seemed to be safe enough to feel that, and that makes me feel
happy to think about. I want to get back to my thoughts and wishes for
my participation in empathy circles later, the reasons I have, cause I
do want to be active, but there is two things I wish for:
* that it will be an all girls group
*that it will be non public
Right now I am watching the restorative empathy circles 101, pre
middle and post cause I realized I had not seen them afterall. It is
so powerful! It is so important for me to be able to see it, it feels
like you are doing some magic going through the struggles that I can
recognize so much of myself in. Thank you! Eva
