Center for Building a Culture of Empathy

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Peace in Oakland
Empathy Party
 


 

    

 

The FunFest Retreat
Videos from the Nonviolent Communication Santa Cruz, Funfest Retreat held on June 20-25th, 2010.



 

Exploring Empathy Workshop - NVC Santa Cruz
A workshop on exploring attendees experience of empathy.

 

Exploring Empathy at the NVC Santa Cruz FunFest from Edwin Rutsch on Vimeo.

      Outline

  • Select a card that speaks to you about empathy

  • Christine

    • the womb

    • mothers love for child

    • coming back to our center our who

    • empathy is love

  • Janine

    • the womb

    • yummyness

    • needs met

  • Guy

    • gentleness and being with oneself is part of empathy

    • capacity for empathy for others depends on empathy/compassion for yourself

  • Bob

    • a wave and in the fetal position

    • the power of empathy

    • so incredible for me

    • deeply moved

  • Jean

    • 2 cards

    • mother earth - warm ground

    • light coming down

    • feeling of self empathy - open to feeling held

    • divine energy

    • connecting with all the needs

    • giving empathy - this other being

    • bringing their empathy to me

  • Kristin

    • what's being born in you

    • fertile eggs in there - gives them support

    • with empathy they get to grow and be known to me

    • gives me a sense of clarity and empowerment

    • being buoyed by the water

    • being with the beauty of the need

    • being in the river of life

  • Bar

    • presence in a way I can experience I'm not alone

    • can put aside a lot of what was me

    • coming thought them and thought me

    • I can receive without getting in the way of the reception

    • not having ideas, thoughts, conclusions

    • receive it, hold it, reflect it

    • when that happens it is hard to describe, but it feels good.

  • Guy

    • second card

    • in presence - an opening, release of tension,

    • makes room for life energy to come in

    • give

  • Christine

    • source - reconnection to our source

  • Jean

    • silent empathy

  • Bar

    • Wings of  Desire movie

    • give pure empathy

    • the angels are just there

  •  

    • silent empathy

    • allow someone to take their own journey

    • the restraint to trust that is not easy

    • connected at an energetic level

    • I was engaged

    • there was safety for her

  • Jean

    • there were times when I got that silent empathy

    • in NVC we learn empathy is the words

    • that's just the skill set to the heart being open

    • some pain

    • I got her empathy

  • Bar

    • put myself in the intention of empathy

    • creates an empathy beacon

    • people walking by can pick it up

    • they smile

  • Bob

    • what I like about empathy

    • someone to see things through my eyes

    • it's so comforting, reassuring, I don't feel so alone

    • feels safe, will not be judged

    • they're seeing from my perspective

  • Kristin

    • there's no rush because there's no place to get to

    • this is what it is

    • something about giving empathy - trust

    • presence - stress is gone

    • state of profound gratitude and wonder

  • Jean

    • empathy doesn't have to take a certain amount of time

    • not the time but quality

    • no rule it has to be long

  • Bar

    • the energy of empathy is there all the time

    • it's uncovering it

    • removing the pieces that aren't real

  • Christine

    • I wonder if we're not all just looking for empathy

    • prison story and cutting the cats whiskers

    • whiskers and feeling

    • wanting the cat to empathize with her

  • Bar

    • perhaps like people commenting crime - looking for empathy

  • Jean

    • empathy guessing

  • Ted

    • what's under empathy

    • compassion

    • wanting the best for them

  • Christine

    • I trust you can figure this out

    • that you are already whole

    • I'm not trying to fix you

  • Ted

    • hear it yourself

    • slow down

  • Kristen

    • empathy when present let you come out of confusion, worry

    • the door can swing open

    • life energy

  • Christine

    • when I'm in pain - that's all there is

    • empathy opens world

    • blinders open

  • Kristen

    • was moved by what Dominic had said

    • empathy doesn't get you just temporary relief

    • it's the transformational shift

    • it allow you to get and understand the story

    • empathy that changes

    • you become open to not running that suffering

    • the barriers to action are removed.

  • Jean

    • the origin of the word

    • German - Einfühlen

    • anyone want some empathy

  • Bar - getting empathy from the group

    • alive?

    • freedom?

    • celebration? - dance of acceptance

    • trust?

    • when triggered hard to get to empathy

    • empathy on demand

    • layers that get in the way?

    • openhearted?

    • I'm at this phase of empathy

    • breath seems to be a big part of presence

  • Ted

    • media wants to convince us

    • convincing vr. empathy

    • gratitude part of empathy

    • believe there's something missing?

    • all this stuff

    • empathy says there's nothing missing and nothing wrong?

  • Christine

    • Empathy gas stations

  • Bob - personal talk about empathy

    • power of empathy speaks to you

    • someone coming to me - seeing through my eyes

    • empathy groups - people guess where I am

    • taking the journey with me

    • helping find me

    • so powerful and encouraging

    • The first time it happened?

      • a previous workshop

      • someone gave me empathy

      • it was almost painful

      • I felt safe

    • I wouldn't be judge?

      •  was lacking in my life

      • grew up with lack of it

    • What happed?

      • examples of what is not empathy

        • was easy - I had learned it

        • that's the sad thing

      • had learned not having empathy growing up and in society

        • empathy blockers

          • asking question

          • telling your own story

    • A metaphor of empathy?

      • a hand around my shoulder - listening with love

  • Kristen - Wrap-up of session

  • Kristen - singing a song of listening



 

Jean Morrison on Empathy
NVC Santa Cruz Trainer

 

Jean Morrison on Empathy from Edwin Rutsch on Vimeo.

       Outline

  • Story of Empathy

    • first grade teach

    • was first really living examples that touched me

    • honor an amazing teach - Misses Wright

    • Kids were giggling about boy with runny noise

    • had a cold and drip of snot dropping

    • caught between compassion and the hilarity of it

    • not knowing what to do

    • Misses Wright quietly lays a handkerchief on his desk

    • A magical moment, doing something so gentile

    • a gentile nature

    • the heart of it not words

  • A deep memory of empathy?

    • yes, I would have liked that to have been in my family

    • Misses Wright - that was the way to be

    • parents were wonderful but there were times that were not quite right

  • A beacon of empathy?

    • yes

  • As you went along you found the vocabulary for empathy?

    • in connection with your own heart

    • wanting love,

    • parents were verbal fighters - When little I was the scissor queen

    • cut out the paper dolls that were connected

    •  and tried to bring them together

    • connect them back

    • there is another way

    • getting excited I was going to connected them

    • a began  looking for how people relate to each other

    • judgments and criticism with yourself is just as critical

    • empathy a life long inspiration and companion

  • Other discoveries for a vocabulary?

    • In college Carl Rodgers

    • then NVC with Marshall Rosenberg

  • Any other insights on empathy?

    • empathy is a quiet place

    • harder to find empathy in noisy place

    • go slower

  • A Metaphor?

    • different ones at different times

    • something with water

    • a golden ring - solid and light

    • encircles my heart and your heart

    • precious - connecting

  • Opposite of empathy?

    • empathy and alone

    • a ice cub in the desert that takes a life time to melt

  • Dialogue between them?

    • the ring rolling in time and space into the desert

    • fall around the ice and welcome it like it is

    • the ice cub would melt knowing there is a witness

    • become with the sand and be

 

 

Bob on His First Experiences with Empathy & the Power of Empathy
 

 

      Outline

  • The power of empathy speaks to you?

    • someone coming to me - seeing through my eyes

    • empathy groups - people guess where I am

    • taking the journey with me

    • helping find me

    • so powerful and encouraging

  • The first time it happened?

    • a previous workshop

    • someone gave me empathy

    • it was almost painful

    • I felt safe

  • I wouldn't be judge?

    •  was lacking in my life

    • grew up with lack of it

  • What happed?

    • examples of what is not empathy

      • was easy - I had learned it

      • that's the sad thing

    • had learned not having empathy growing up and in society

      • empathy blockers

        • asking question

        • telling your own story

  • A metaphor of empathy?

    • a hand around my shoulder - listening with love

 

 

 

Ted Hill on Saving Money with Empathy

  

 

      Outline

  • I have friends that lean right politically

    • the issue of government spending and waste comes up

    • I wish we could be objective

    • in Afghanistan they are trying empathy

    • would be cheaper to use empathy

    • a great way to cut back on government spending

    • in prisons as well

    • children, adolescence -so they don't act out

    • war is expensive

  • Is empathy a value to you?

    • yes, people like being listened to

    • if more listening - less negative story

    • cycle of violence

  • Have you personally saved money with empathy?

    • yes, relationships with women

    • I'm a good listener, so I

    • relationships that don't work cost a lot of money

    • I'd like to save money

  • How did empathy become important to you?

    • became aware in college

    • listening skills are big

    • a gradual development

    • had a relationship where we heard each other.

  • A metaphor?

    • it's a mirror shining back

    • makes you feel safe

    • versus blame and judgment

 

 

 

Photos 1 and Photos 2