Desiree Banzhaf on Empathy being Yummy and Refreshing

 

• was public school teacher

• read books and studying NVC

• have passion for it and teach it at NVC Santa Cruz

• Empathy is yummy and refreshing

• is something we all are craving but don't know it

• sometimes working with kids it's just what they needed

• they're not used to it

• just being heard and their experience is being validated

• being present with empathy for someone else is like meditation

• Empathy is great on either end

  • getting or receiving

  • receiving -is a deep relaxing out breath

  • giving - they relax

• when I first learned it

• was more of a mental activity

• then started following - being with

• Another aspect -being in presence - doesn't require words

• there's no efforting

Desiree Banzhaf on How We can Build a Culture of Empathy?

 

• How We can Build a Culture of Empathy?

  • We are naturally empathic

  • unlearn the blocks

  • growing up in a natural culture of empathy

• Some skill development can be useful

• Building awareness of what is not empathy can help

  • advice, story it reminds them of, questions

  • catching ourselves and bringing the awareness back

• a practice of what the mind is doing

  • brain attaches, tries to help, organize

  • all those practices help

  • noticing and eliminating them

• with kids grow up in a world - they have less unlearning

• Skills, a culture of empathy

• We're moving toward that

• Systems in place that builds empathy - is growing

• Some Processes

  • restorative circles when things fall apart

  • we are in the baby stages of systems that support empathy

• The narrative of your life and how did empathy develop?

  • had an intention of empathy but didn't know what it was

  • the underdog, minority,

  • pull to protect

  • the first memory and the ice cream in the closet

  • didn't give it to sister and felt horrible, shameful - stuck with me

  • I feel for my sister

  • remember issues of race and racism,

  • the relationship with empathy?

  • something in my heart that wanted to be present with people