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Culture of Empathy Builder:
Michael Lerner
Links
Michael Lerner on Building a Culture of Empathy
0:00
Michael Lerner Introduction: from offices
of Tikkun Magazine
What's your Life Story of
learning about empathy?
Started with a consciousness of the
Holocaust and destruction of my people
why do some people care about others and
other people can kill?
I'm not in anything alone
I had empathy for people there.
Own experience of being a minority
Could empathize with African Americans
From early age had empathy for those who
had been suffering or oppressed.
2:40 From there it took a long time to
have empathy for those who were oppressors
took considerable education to come to
see that people acting in horrible ways are also people in pain
the hardest step
Started in my late 20's and been working
on it since
been trying to get progressives to
see that those who don't side with us, as fellow human beings
You started empathizing
with their pain?
The question I struggled with since I
was 11 is how could Germans hate/murder others
there were 2 cultural explanations
6:00 - got into psychology to understand
evil
Studied time of Nazi
Why is this still the case?
got Phd. in Psychology
did 10 yr. study of American society
National Institute of Mental Health
What made Americans embrace
Conservativism?
The left said
Americans are stupid, sexist,
homophobic, etc
11:40 My studies showed it was because
the Right spoke to a hunger for meaning
for a more caring society
people are terrified the way family
and friendship was falling apart
the depravation of love and caring.
For the left-- it's the economy stupid
13:50 since found that everyone has
that need
doesn't mean they don't have needs for
material, sexual, food, etc
equally significant is love and
meaning
the capitalist world view denies that
capitalism says look out for number
one
The overall system is
suppressing the need for care and love?
also suppressing people's natural
empathy for each other
it makes people feel bizarre if they let
their empathic part out
15:10 people talk about all the lights
going out, disasters as being great moments
why? because at that moment they felt it
was legitimate to care for strangers
the hunger for empathy is normally
suppressed
it is seen as shameful to be seen as
caring and empathic
it can happen in a large crisis, or
rooting for the team
17:20 the social order suppresses
empathy
19:00 How do your
values of caring, generosity, wonder, awe etc relate to empathy?
empathy is central
we are all in it together
we are all brothers and sisters
The torah starts talking about making
humans in gods image
holy, sacred
The story of Adam and Eve
the concept of same family
core is our unity
legitimates our empathy, they are the
same as us
20:30 When
did the word empathy start become important to you.
caring, generosity, forgiveness wonder,
awe are aspects of empathy
feeling the others pain
if it doesn't manifest if it's not in
behavior
how to create a space for these
Created Network of Spiritual
Progressives and Tikkun magazine
bring empathy to center of public life
for homeland security, personal security
- develop empathy, caring
24:40 How
to build a Culture of Empathy?
great to try to build a culture of
empathy
part of doing that is to articulate a
politics of empathy
doing that with Network of Spiritual
Progressives and Tikkun magazine
create a new bottom line - every
organization and personal behavior
so it maximizes love, caring, empathy
that is efficiency
support us
this is a new bottom line
27:30 How about
not focusing on policies but rather empathy with conservatives?
not focused on conservatives
speak to those who are heart committed
legitimating it
a struggle that goes on between people
right hand of god: you have to dominate
- worldview of fear, domination
left hand of god: world is based on
love, caring, generosity
a continuum between these poles
where's the social energy?
32:00 If you want to create an empathic
society one thing you need is to help support people to go for the
empathic and loving voice
34:45 What
is the process of creating an empathy movement? there's infighting
even in a empathy group.
-
we are all screwed up people
-
we've all been subject to this distorted
world that didn't give us the love and recognition we needed
-
every group is going to have screwed up
dynamics
-
don't project perfection on people
-
wounded healers is all that we have
-
we are going to screw up
step number one is have empathy for our
screw-ups
there's going to be people acting out,
that's all we have on the planet, but
they all have a desire to transcend that
each group has it's own dynamics
need a great deal of practical wisdom
38:40 How has
your journey been of organizing and the problems and successes with
empathy?
screw-up after screw-up after screw-up
some successes
was helpful in being a psychologist
the more loving I became the better the
groups I led became
I'm proud to have the NSP that is
holding together
proud of my synagogue
it's important to start out with the
power
used to start out with ultra democracy
everyone's opinion is valuable
not everyone knows what to do
our anti authoritarianism has a deep
problem in it
large power differences vr. small power
differences
or demean leaders
violence in struggle is a bad idea
need acknowledgment that people are at
different moral, spiritual, development
groups set up that see that
43:00 experience is useful
43:30 Story of
republican state convention?
converting fear to the empathy
we have to empathize with others and
love ourselves into a loving society
can't dominate our way into a loving
others
45:50 What about
NVC and reflective listening?
I'm all for it
it's an important process
the difference I had with some
practitioners is those processes can be used in a mechanistic way
like anything else
words can be turned to their opposites
in 60's and 70's people beat each other
up for not being loving or caring enough
what we want to do is empathize with
them
any set of words can be turned into a
dogma
some say I want to empathize with that
one and that one..
well that's a part but need to help
people understand the world will need collective action
I want to be empathic toward the war
maker but not toward the wars
this hasn't been developed enough in the
NVC community
50:30 A
metaphor of empathy?
an explosion of deep joy into the world
empathy undermines the sense of being
alone
the world is full of human beings who
reflect us
an explosion -
52:44 A metaphor
for the opposite of empathy?
closing down, the clenched fist, the
cave with a big rock in front
build of a home with no doors and
windows
closed off from others and sad
very sad
53:40 Anything
else?
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