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Culture of Empathy Builder:
Alan Seid
Alan
Seid & Edwin Rutsch: Dialogs on How to Build a Culture of Empathy with
NVC
00:00 Introduction
(transcription pending)
(Video
Transcriptions: If you would like to take empathic action
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for other viewers to quickly see the content of this video.)
How can we build a culture of empathy? i.e. raise
the level of empathy in society?
Empathy education in the schools
Empathy education in mainstream media (sitcoms and
hollywood movies)
Restorative justice.
Keep learning about empathy.
How are you defining empathy?
A respectful or compassionate understanding. Not an
intellectual understanding, but the understanding that comes from
being FULLY PRESENT with another.
What is your metaphor of what empathy is like?
Explain?
In giving empathy it is sometimes like having
energetic arms with which I am "holding" the other person.
Describe your personal felt experience in your body
of empathy?
When receiving,
it's a sense of being gotten.
Sometimes it comes with a sense of release.
Sometimes someone's presence feels palpable.
In giving:
I am TOTALY present. So much so that sometimes I
and the room we're in fades away.
What are the obstacles to deepening empathy?
Speed.
Being in our heads.
Believing our stories about others. (Don't believe
everything you think. Byron Katie.)
How to DO Empathy
00:00 Video is about how to do empathy
Many definitions of empathy - 14 definitions.
Learn actionable item
Giving empathy - really give attention and presence
Need for empathy is met.
Definition - a respectful or compassionate
understanding.
we have universal need to be
heard/gotten/understood in a deep way
01:20 empathy does not mean agreement.
reflection demonstrates
understanding
once someone feels heard they are
more open to listen.
03:00 Empathy versus sympathy
Empathy full presence
Sympathy - telling your story.
Instrument
with sympatric strings metaphor
(why is focus and feeling of presence so important?)
people just want someone to be with them
04:50 Empathy has a quality of following - it's not leading
not questions - questions are leading
empathy is following - staying present with someone.
06:00 What happens when people get enough empathy
they stop talking
an emotional shift happens
having someone be present with you, gives you space
for new insights to come up
07:20 empathy is not
investigating
advice - suggestions
is being present - being fully heard - gotten
tube metaphor for communications
empathy before honesty, education,
Importance of slowing things down is good for presence
check-in before giving or sharing advice
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