Ike Lasater is the co-founder of Mediate Your Life, a training company
that helps people build better lives by changing how they respond to
conflict. With extensive training in Nonviolent Communication, Ike
teaches and coaches individuals and organizations in communication and
conflict resolution skills and has trained thousands of people in the
US, Europe, Asia, and Australia. He has served on the board of directors
for the Center for Nonviolent Communication and the Association for
Dispute Resolution of Northern California. Ike is a former trial
attorney for 20 years who co-founded a thriving San Francisco law firm.
At its core, the Mediate Your Life training is about
listening to - and really hearing - ourselves and others. It is about
increasing our capacity for empathy so that when triggered we can overcome
the body's natural "fight-flight-freeze" reaction. The process teaches how
to replace conflict with true collaboration, new possibilities, and
In Choosing Peace, you will learn a new approach to communication and
conflict that creates peace, internally and externally. The concrete
tools and skills in this book allow you to be clear in your
communication and help others do the same. Through practicing what is in
this compelling guidebook, you can build more satisfying and engaging
relationships and create more compassion and peace in your life.
Read Choosing Peace to be able to:
Understand how conflict can be a vehicle to connection
Escape from endless replaying of stressful conversations
Be kinder to yourself
Gain acceptance for others
Stop behaving in ways that do not get you what you want
Learn a new set of skills to navigate sticky conflict situations
Get a new perspective on recurring conflicts--and how to resolve them
Recognize and shift out of fight-flight-freeze stress patterns
Have you ever stopped yourself from achieving a dream, even before you
started? Was it because of critical internal voices giving you one or
more reasons why you couldn't make it happen? If so, you may be
surprised to learn that those seemingly negative voices not only have a
meaningful purpose, but that they can actually become your allies
instead of your detractors.
In When Your Mind Sabotages Your Dreams, you will master a way of being
in relationship with yourself that empowers you to turn self-sabotaging
internal voices into supporters that contribute to creating the life you
desire. The concrete, practical tools and maps in this book will help
you navigate all stages of planning and realizing your dreams by:
Everyone experiences conflict, and if you’re like most people, it is
typically a source of stress in relationships. But what if you could
have difficult conversations with ease and create agreements that
With 40 years of combined experience in a Nonviolent Communication
approach to mediation and conflict resolution, the authors of From
Conflict to Connection offer a step-by-step guide to being in a
relationship with yourself and others that generates new possibilities
out of discord and disagreements. The book’s concrete, practical tools
and maps for all stages of interpersonal communication, as well as many
examples, will help you to:
Finding Words That Work in Business
Doing the enemy image process — giving yourself empathy for your
judgments and doing silent empathy for the other person — can help you
transform the intense emotional charge you might otherwise have going
into the conversation, a charge that will tend to create exactly what
you don’t want.
What's your personal metaphor of what empathy is like?
It's about people being heard to their satisfaction. Being heard the way
that they want to be heard. So their need for empathy is being met.
Then the metaphors like Marshall's surfing come in.
Following, is a metaphor my friend John Kinyon and I use in our
training. Can I follow, just half a step behind.
I'm not analyzing, just following "is it this, are your needing
respect?" I'm guessing. 'tell me what going on inside you?" Trying to
get it the
best I can.
If empathy was a type of land, what type of land would it be? Is it a
mountaintop, a valley, is it Yosemite?
Someone might have the image that is tranquil, it's peaceful. It's not
necessarily that. Its whatever a persons state it. Peace and harmony
something come out of being gotten. They're done. There's a kind of
flowing out that takes place.
the metaphors not working for me.
Something that come up for me is a maintain lake. If you look at a
mountain lake, you can see the forest and the mountains reflected, It
a storm you'll see that reflected. If a bird fly's over, your see