Culture of Empathy Builder:  Sandy Hope

"If we want a radical feminist revolution that overturns our current ways of thinking and responding to the world, I believe, and I’m not alone, that this begins (and ends) with empathy.

The style of thinking that characterises patriarchy/kyriarchy is individualistic, self-orientated, and based on competition, control and domination. It comes from a false belief that these are the natural drivers of human nature, a belief that is unfortunately self-reinforcing.... The main driver of this essential human development tool is empathy; quite possibly the single most important survival technique we possess. "

Benefits of Empathy:

Empathy can heal oppression
I believe empathy is a radical act that overthrows the current paradigm and has a truly transformative potential. It is particularly important for me as a feminist to engage my empathy as much in my activism work as I do when working as a therapist – I truly believe only empathic connection can heal oppression.

With Empathy we can “fully meet the other”
For me, the most important aspect of empathy is what Colin Lago calls “fully meeting the other”. A concern I have for feminism and for society in general is our worlds becoming echo chambers if we only form groups of “people like us”. The danger is losing the ability to truly encounter difference and connect to other people; the “people like us” that surround us turn into reflections and we miss their differences and otherness too. That can breed an oppressive environment for everyone concerned where people begin to relate instrumentally rather than relationally – power and control become the social currency instead of encounter and connection. This is why I am passionate about bringing together the transgender community and the feminist community, because so much growth is possible when we fully encounter each other in all our differences.

I worry that feminism sometimes avoids speaking about empathy on the basis that it should not be women’s job to do the emotional work. I think we should be outraged at the way this essential human quality has been sidelined – even being perceived as “women’s work” downgrades it in a world that totally devalues women. I believe we should be fighting for it to be seen as everyone’s work, the most important work of all – training children and especially boys in empathy and expecting that men will work on their empathic skills.
 

Empathic relationships can heal trauma
My masters work was on trauma. I’ve come to understand how trauma narrows our focus and stops us taking in the complexity and wonder of the world – we hone in on simplistic ideas that we can calculate quickly – that’s what is needed when you’re in fight or flight mode, no time for rainbows and butterflies! Everything we now know about therapy points to the idea that we recover from trauma through relationship. Empathy – the ability to truly leave your own world and point of view and connect to that of another person – is the tool that builds relationship. All healing comes from that place.

Any form of oppression is inherently traumatising, and any traumatised person is likely to view empathy as an unaffordable luxury, as they narrow their focus and retreat into their own point of view. The danger then is when we’re traumatised we don’t offer empathy and relationship and connectedness in the same way, and thus trauma perpetuates itself. This is why we need to work so hard for empathy, because empathy also perpetuates itself; enough skilful, empathic work will reverse the effects of trauma and oppression, but we need to work together on this.

Benefit of Empathy: Empathy perpetuates itself
(A person seeing empathy in others will be inspired to be more empathic themselves and create a positive cycle.)

Empathy protects us from psychological distress and trauma
Empathy; quite possibly the single most important survival technique we possess.