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Carl Rogers Empathy Quotes
(To Carl Rogers Page 1)


“The state of empathy, or being empathic, is to perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto as if one were the person” (Carl Rogers 1980 P140).

 

"To my mind, empathy is in itself a healing agent. It is one of the most potent aspects of therapy, because it releases, it confirms, it brings even the most frightened client into the human race. If a person is understood, he or she belongs." ~ Carl Rogers

 

'Empathy is the listener's effort to hear the other person deeply, accurately, and non-judgmentally. Empathy involves skillful reflective listening that clarifies and amplifies the person’s own experiencing and meaning, without imposing the listener’s own material.'
~ Carl Rogers (1951) 


 

"Over the years, however, the research evidence keeps piling up, and it points strongly to the conclusion that a high degree of empathy in a relationship is possibly the most potent and certainly one of the most potent factors in bringing about change and learning. "  

Carl Rogers
Empathic:
An Unappreciated Way of Being

 

 

"The third facilitative aspect of the relationship is empathic understanding. This means that the therapist senses accurately the feelings and personal meanings that the client is experiencing and communicates this understanding to the client.  

When functioning best, the therapist is so much inside the private world of the other that he or she can clarify not only the meanings of which the client is aware but even those just below the level of awareness.  This kind of sensitive, active listening is exceedingly rare in our lives.

We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know."  

Carl Rogers
Empathic:
An Unappreciated Way of Being

 

 

"An empathic way of being can be learned from empathic persons. Perhaps the most important statement of all is that the ability to be accurately empathic is something which can be developed by training.

Therapists, parents and teachers can be helped to become empathic. This is especially likely to occur if their teachers and supervisors are themselves individuals of sensitive understanding.

It is most encouraging to know that this subtle, elusive quality, of utmost importance in therapy, is not something one is "born with", but can be learned, and learned most rapidly in an empathic climate. "

Carl Rogers
Empathic:
An Unappreciated Way of Being

 

 

"Being empathic means: "To be with another in this way means that for the time being you lay aside the views and values you hold for yourself in order to enter another's world without prejudice.

In some sense it means that you lay aside your self and this can only be done by a person who is secure enough in himself that he knows he will not get lost in what may turn out to be the strange or bizarre world of the other, and can comfortably return to his own world when he wishes.

Perhaps this description makes clear that
being empathic is a complex, demanding, strong yet subtle and gentle way of being." 

Carl Rogers
Empathic:
An Unappreciated Way of Being

 

 

 

The gentle and sensitive companionship of an empathic stance - accompanied of course by the other two attitudes - provides illumination and healing. In such situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift one can give to another.

Carl Rogers
Empathic:
An Unappreciated Way of Being
 

 

 

 

 

 

"I believe I know why it is satisfying to me to hear someone. When I can really hear someone, it puts me in touch with him; it enriches my life.

 It is through hearing people that I have learned all that I know about individuals, about personality, about interpersonal relationships." 

Carl Rogers
Experiences in Communication


 

 

 

" when a person realizes he has been deeply heard, his eyes moisten. I think in some real sense he is weeping for joy. It is as though he were saying,

"Thank God, somebody heard me. Someone knows what it's like to be me." 

Carl Rogers
Experiences in Communication


 

 

 

"When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good. . . .

 When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go on. It is astonishing how elements which seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens.

How confusions which seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard. "  

Carl Rogers
Experiences in Communication


 


 

"So, as you can readily see from what I have said thus far, a creative, active, sensitive, accurate, empathic, nonjudgmental listening is for me terribly important in a relationship. It is important for me to provide it; it has been extremely important, especially at certain times in my life, to receive it.

I feel that I have grown within myself when I have provided it; I am very sure that I have grown and been released and enhanced when I have received this kind of listening. "

Carl Rogers
 Experiences in Communication

 

 

 

"A further element that establishes a climate for self-initiated, experiential learning is empathetic understanding. 

When the teacher has the ability to understand the student’s reactions from the inside, has a sensitive awareness of the way the process of education and learning seems to the student, then again the likelihood of significant learning is increased.

Carl Rogers
Freedom to Learn,
pp. 126-127.

 

 

 

"Man's inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively." 

Carl Rogers

 

 


"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."

Carl Rogers
 

 

"Being listened to by someone who understands makes it possible for persons to listen more accurately to themselves, with greater empathy toward their own visceral experiencing, their own vaguely felt meanings." 

Carl Rogers
 

 

 

"true empathy is always free of any evaluative or diagnostic quality. This comes across to the recipient with some surprise. "If I am not being judged, perhaps I am not so evil or abnormal as I have thought. "

Carl Rogers

 

 

 

 

Empathy is saying to someone:
“I’m trying to be a companion to you in your search and your exploration.
I want to know, am I with you? 
Is this the way it seems to you? 
Is this the thing you’re trying to express? 
Is this the meaning it has for you?”
So in a sense I’m saying, 
“I’m walking with you step by step, and I want to make sure I am with you. 
Am I with you?” 
So that’s a little bit of my understanding about empathy."


Carl Rogers

 

 

 

 

"a listening, empathic approach leads 
to improved communication,
to greater acceptance of others and by others, and
to attitudes which are more positive and more problem-solving in nature. 

There is a decrease 
in defensiveness, 
in exaggerated statements, 
in evaluative and critical behavior."  

Carl Rogers

 

 


 


Carl Rogers
 

 

 

 "To my mind, empathy is in itself a healing agent. It is one of the most potent aspects of therapy, because it releases, it confirms, it brings even the most frightened client into the human race. If a person is understood, he or she belongs."

 (Rogers, 1986

 

 



Empathy is a special way of coming to know another and ourself, a kind of attuning and understanding. When empathy is extended, it satisfies our needs and wish for intimacy, it rescues us from our feelings of aloneness."  Carl Rogers


 

 

"People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds."  Carl Rogers

 

 

 


"When the other person is hurting, confused, troubled, anxious, alienated, terrified; or when he or she is doubtful of self-worth, uncertain as to identity, then understanding is called for.

 

The gentle and sensitive companionship of an empathic stance… provides illumination and healing. In such situations deep understanding is, I believe, the most precious gift one can give to another."
― Carl R. Rogers